T’was the Night Before Anime: A Christmas Post!

I was wracking my brain trying to think of the perfect Christmas post, and I just couldn’t think of anything that I hadn’t already posted about last year. I could make a list of great holiday themed anime episodes, but I already made a post like that for Halloween. I could write a review of my favorite holiday anime (Tokyo Godfathers) but I already wrote a post like that for last Christmas. I’ve already written a post filled with holiday nostalgia of Christmas’s past. And I’ve written a post about caroling (one of my favorite holiday activities because it’s the one time of the year when even really bad singers like me can still belt out a song and no one is going to heckle them). And that’s when I finally thought of a different kind of post! All the other holiday posts were about my favorite things of this time of year, so why not write a post about my favorite holiday poem? Ever since I was little I’ve loved the poem T’was the Night Before Christmas/A Visit from St. Nicholas by Clement Clarke Moore. Did you know that next year it will be 200 years old! And of course if I’m going to write a post about it, the poem has to be anime-o-fied! Though I’m certainly not a poet, please enjoy this present with wishes of a very Happy Holidays!

T’was the Night Before Anime

T’was the night before Christmas, and all through the Sohma residence

Not a creature was stirring, not even Hamtaro

The getta were hung by the chimney with care

In hopes that yokai soon would be there

The Pokemon were nestled all snug in their beds

While visions of onigiri danced in their heads

And mamma in her yukata, and I in my megadeus

Had just settled our brains for a long Winter’s matsuri

When out on the lawn there arose such a hanabi

I sprang from the Shadow Realm to see what was the matter

Away to the window I few like a ninja

Tore open the kusudama and threw up the sash

The Moon on the ninja village of the new fallen snow

Gave the luster of a kamehameha on objects below

When, what to my wondering third eye should appear

But a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny Clow Cards

With a little old Kamen Rider, so lively and quick

I knew in a moment that it must be the spy Twilight

More rapid than Hayate the Combat Butler, his coursers they came

And he used Ofuda and summoned, and called them by name:

Now Kero! now, Pikachu! now Hamtaro and Luna!

On, Mokona! on, Murr! on, Almond and Buyo!

To the top of the zen garden! To the top of the Tokyo Tower!

Now dash away! Dash away! With Saiyen power!

As Kiki’s delivery service that before the wild hurricane fly

When they meet with a Kaiju, mount to the sky

So up to the Hokage Rock top the coursers they flew

with the sleigh full of dango, and Kamen Rider too

And then, in a twinkling of Kyoya Ootori’s glasses, I heard on the roof

The prancing and pawing of each little Clow card

As I drew in my katana, and was turning around

Down the chimney Kamen Rider came with a bound

He was dressed all in kimono, from his head to his foot

And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and Petra beam,

A bundle of Pokeballs he had flung on his back,

And he looked like a shinigami just opening his pack

His eyes how they pika! pika! His dimples how marry!

His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a daruma!

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bento

And the beard of his chin was a white as the sakura,

The stump of Zangetsu he held tight in his teeth,

And the Ring of Gluttony it encircled his head like a wreath,

He had a broad face and a little round Wind Tunnel Hand,

That shook when he laughed, like a bowlful of ramen

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old Digimon,

And I laughed when I bunshinjutsu-ed him, in spite of myself,

A wink of his eye and a twist of his Prism Moon Tiara,

Soon gave me to know I had nothing to otaku over,

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his ki cultivating

And filled all the stocking; then turned with a jutsu,

And laying his finger aside of his daruma nose

And giving a Kir Royale, up the chimney he rose,

He sprang to his sleigh, to his Clow cards gave a whistle,

And away they all flew like the down of the goddess Niao Lian,

But I heard him onomatopoeia, ere he drove out of sight,

Happy Christmas to all, and to all good anime!

Have a Very Happy Holiday!

Hmm, this poem turned out a lot more action packed than I was expecting. I’m not even sure how it ended up with so many ninjas and explosions. Maybe I should leave the poetry to the poets?